What is the one distinguishing mark of the church?  If you were to think about the church as you know it today in America, could you narrow it down to one characteristic that would describe the church?  Thinking of those outside the church, how do they know us?  I’m sure if we had time, we could have quite a discussion of that question.

          In John 13:34-35, Jesus gave these instructions to his disciples.

          ³⁴"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

          Jesus wants his followers—the church—to be known by their love for one another.  Jesus wants the world to look at his disciples and recognize them because they are distinguished by their love for each other.

          We are all very familiar with name brands.  My husband and I have a 1987 minivan that still runs.  But we know that after twenty years, its days are numbered.  So we’re planning to replace it.

          I’m not usually much interested in cars, but now that I know we need to buy one, I’m looking around at cars.  I’m getting pretty good at spotting the little symbols on cars that tell me what they are.  That little symbol can tell me quite a bit about the vehicle, because every automaker has a reputation.  I know that because I read Consumer Reports and other articles, and they tell me how those cars are likely to behave.  There’s a reputation behind each one of those little symbols.

          What do you think?  Do you think the church has a reputation of being a place where, above everything else, people love each other?  Jesus says “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  If the church is a gathering of the followers of Jesus, then Jesus says we—the church—ought to be known by our love.

          We’re going to talk first about the reality of the reputation of the church.  Then we’re going to talk about what it might look like if the church truly did what Jesus told us to do.  We’re going to talk about how we can do a better job of following Jesus’ instructions to love each other.

          You may have heard of George Barna, a Christian researcher who does lots of polls to determine attitudes people have.  His research group is continually looking at what people think, what they believe, and what they actually do.

          A few years ago, Barna released a study examining attitudes that adults outside of Christianity have towards Christians.  According to Barna, one reason evangelical churches across the nation are not growing is due to the image that non-Christian adults have of evangelical Christians. In a nationwide survey among a representative sample of people who do not consider themselves to be Christian, the image of "evangelicals" rated tenth out of eleven groups evaluated, beating out only one group:  prostitutes.    

          Strangely enough, not all Christians or religious people rated so poorly.  “Born again Christians” rated much higher than evangelicals, and ministers were rated even higher.  This does not make complete sense, as I would probably put myself in all three categories:  evangelical, born again, and a minister.  But the reality is that peoples’ opinions don’t always make sense—most of us have opinions, but we can’t always explain the reasons for our opinions.

          Here’s what the study did.  Adults who do not consider themselves to be Christian were asked to give their impressions of eleven groups. The only group that received a "favorable" opinion from a majority of the non-Christian individuals was "military officers." Fifty-six percent of those polled had favorable opinions of military officers.

          In order from most to least favorable, the eleven groups were: military officers, ministers, born again Christians, Democrats, real estate agents, movie and television performers, lawyers, Republicans, lesbians, evangelicals, and prostitutes.

          You can see that for some reason, ministers did pretty well, with a 44% favorable rating, right above born again Christians.  Born again Christians tied with Democrats with a 32% favorable rating.  Evangelicals did not fare so well.  They rated lower than real estate agents, movie and television performers, lawyers, Republicans, and lesbians.  In fact, the only group they out-favored was prostitutes, which was at the bottom.

          Now, there are, of course explanations.  Barna explains that the survey data suggest that people form impressions of others on the basis of one-dimensional images created and communicated by the mass media. He says his studies show that “many of the people who have negative impressions of evangelicals do not know what or who an evangelical is.  People's impressions of others are often driven by incomplete, inaccurate or out-of-context information conveyed under the guise of objectivity when, in fact, there is a point-of-view being advanced by the information source. Too often, we develop mental images of others without knowing those people.”

          One observation I would make is that these statistics probably are somewhat changeable with the mood of the country.  This survey was taken in late 2002, four and one half years ago, and my memory is that evangelicals were taking a real beating in the media about that time.  My guess is that if that same survey were taken today, the figures would be somewhat different, and that most likely military officers would be a little lower because of the unpopularity of the war in Iraq.  The mood of the public does shift.

          Barna says the research also reveals the power of language. Somehow, 'born again Christians' have a more favorable image than do 'evangelicals,' although few adults are able to identify any substantive differences between those two groups.  This is most likely a result of the thrashing that evangelicals receive in the media. It seems that millions of non-Christians have negative impressions of evangelicals, even though they cannot define what an evangelical is, what they believe, or identify even a handful of people they know personally who are evangelicals. There appears to be a lot of religious divisiveness in America based on caricatures and myths rather than on the basis of true ideological or theological differences.

          All that may be true, but it’s still a good idea for Christians—whether they call themselves born again or evangelicals or whatever—to examine themselves and ask why they are not highly regarded.  Our first thoughts might be to blame our bad reputation on the media, on a few high-profile Christians who do not represent most of us, and to say that people just don’t know who we are. 

          While that may be the case, it doesn’t do anything to solve the problem.  Remember that old minivan I told you we have?  It is a Plymouth Voyager, and it has served our family very well.  After twenty years, it is still in pretty good shape.

          When we bought it, the Plymouth and Dodge minivans were at the top of the ratings with regard to safety and dependability.  So when we started thinking about replacing it, we thought we might want to just get another Dodge minivan.  I guess they don’t make Plymouths anymore.    I was startled to read that the Dodge minivan has gone way down in the ratings, and Consumer Reports says they are not reliable.  Today, some of the safest, most reliable minivans are made by Honda and Toyota.  Of course, minivans are pretty out of it, too, although they are still the best for carrying more than four passengers.  In fact, we’re going to rent one next week when we’re in Chicago for Emily’s graduation.  So you can ask about it when we get back if you want our opinion.  But I am digressing!

          If you were an automaker, would you pay attention to what Consumer Reports and others were saying about your product?  Or would you just say, “They don’t understand us!”  Well, if you want to stay in business, you had better listen!  Successful companies, whether they are automakers or in any other field, pay attention to what people think of them.

          Maybe Christians also need to listen to how they are perceived by non-Christians.  Certainly we could go too far with this.  It is not my suggestion that we remake ourselves in order to get higher ratings in opinion polls.  In fact, Jesus told his disciples that people hated him, and they would hate his disciples as well. 

          But we need to make sure they do not hate us for the wrong reasons.  If they hate us because we represent the truth and they prefer to live a lie, that’s probably okay in Jesus’ eyes.  But if they hate us because they see us as hypocritical, judgmental, back-biting, and mean-spirited—well, that’s something else altogether.

          And I think that is what Jesus meant when he told us to love one another to the extent that our love for one another would be our defining mark.  His intent was that by our love for each other, people would know us.

          What would it look like if we followed Jesus’ instructions fully?  Earlier in the service, we read I Corinthians 13, which has a wonderful description of love.  Let’s look again at Paul’s description of love.

          It says, ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

          The hard question we need to ask ourselves is this:  does this description of love in I Corinthians 13 describe the way we relate to each other? 

          Love is patient and kind.  Are we patient with one another and kind to each other?  Those of us who are impatient need to slow ourselves down and listen and wait for others.  We need to consider other people’s feelings so our words will be kind.  Is this easy? Not necessarily, but it is a way of showing our love for each other.

          Love does not envy, does not boast, is not proud.  That means we are to be glad when someone else is recognized, even when it’s not us.  It means we want the best for another person, not just for ourselves.  We don’t seek the glory; we try to let others be seen in the best light.

          Love is not rude.  That’s because when we love others, we want them to be comfortable and happy.  Love is not self-seeking.  That means we are not about looking out for ourselves first.  Try listening to yourself when you are in conversation with others.  Are you always the star of your stories?  Is everything that you really want to talk about all about you? 

          Another translation puts it this way:  Love does not insist on its own way.  Are you gracious in listening to others, and willing to yield your own opinion so someone else can thrive?  Of course there are times when you need to hold your ground—or at least you think you do.  Even so, we can work hard on being gracious and kind.  Even when we are quite sure we are right and our way is best, it will help us to carefully listen and consider what the other person is saying.

          Love is not easily angered.  Well, that’s one that challenges many of us, isn’t it?  We’re all a little different in what really ticks us off, but I think it’s safe to say we all deal with some sort of anger issues. 

          I think the most destructive kind of anger in the church is the one addressed in the next phrase.  Right after “Love is not easily angered,” it says “it keeps no record of wrongs.”  When we live and work together, there will be occasions when we become angry, and perhaps we say things we regret later.  It helps to apologize.  That’s much safer than just hoping the person will forget about it.  But what if you are the person who is wronged?  What if someone says something to you that really hurts your feelings?  Maybe they apologize, and maybe they don’t. 

          Love keeps no record of wrongs.  If someone hurts you, it might be a good thing for you to go to that person and explain to them how they made you feel.  If they apologize, forgive them.  What if it’s way in the past?  Maybe you’re still angry with someone who isn’t even alive.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.  Forgive them!  Do it for your own mental health.  When we carry grudges, we are the ones who suffer.  Unforgiveness eats away at our insides.

          Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

          Don’t you think that if Christians really followed Jesus’ instructions to love each other to the extent that love was our trademark that we would be more highly regarded?

          We can’t control all the Christians in the world, but we can start with ourselves.  Let’s make a decision that we will be the kind of church Jesus wants us to be—a church where love is our trademark.  By this everyone will know that we are Jesus’ disciples, if we love one another.

Prayer:

As we prepare for communion, let us examine ourselves.  Do we love one another the way Jesus wants us to?

Take a moment to reflect on this.  If you need to repent, don’t wait.  Ask God to forgive you.  Maybe you even need to ask someone else to forgive you. 

Lord, we ask you to forgive us for the many times we have failed to love our brothers and sisters.  You have modeled for us the highest example of self-giving love.  Help us to follow in your footsteps and to love each other, even as you have loved us.

Amen