Last Sunday, we began a series about the Fruit of the Spirit. Today, we are looking at the first fruit in the list, Love. When we start talking about love, we quickly discover that our language gives us problems.
You would think nothing of it if I were to tell you that I love ice cream, and I also love cookies. Then I might tell you that God loves me and I love God. I might tell you that I married my husband because I fell in love with him. And then, I might say, I love going to the symphony.
If you were to try to analyze what I meant, knowing that love described a feeling, you might wonder that I could use love to describe my feelings towards ice cream, God, my husband, and the symphony. Small wonder that you might conclude that love is sort of a warm fuzzy feeling.
Some of it could be attributed to my sloppy use of language. Perhaps I could have better described my feeling for ice cream by saying I like ice cream and I enjoy eating it. But I don’t know if that really conveys my feeling about ice cream. When I say I love ice cream, you may at least understand why I continue to eat it, knowing what it does for my cholesterol level and my waistline.
Then there is the concept in our society of romantic love, which is even more confusing than love of ice cream. That’s because what we often describe as being “in love” is actually about as deep as my affection for ice cream.
One reason our concept of love is so absurdly shallow is that we are so self centered. So the truth is that when someone tells you he or she is in love, what they really most likely mean is that this person makes them feel good and happy and –dare I say it on Sunday morning?—sexy.
I’m not sure most people who think they are in love have a mature concept of what love really means. I sometimes tell newlyweds that the day you look at your husband or wife and ask yourself whatever made you think you loved that person—that is the day you have the opportunity to begin the journey of true love. That’s because that is the time when love becomes more than a warm fuzzy feeling, and instead it becomes a decision. You decide that you will love this person because you have already promised to love them, even when the warm fuzzy feelings seem to have gone away. That kind of love requires the best of everything you can give. It is also love that is other-centered rather than self-centered.
My grandparents both grew up in
Love is an important concept in the Christian faith. The Bible tells us that it was because of God’s great love for us that Jesus came in human form. Probably the best known verse in the Bible is John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” It is God’s love for us that motivates his relationship with us. Love is a word that describes God.
Love is also the commandment that Jesus gave us. One day, one of the Pharisees who was an expert in the law asked Jesus, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?” Jesus
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:34-40)
This tells us that love is to be much more than a warm, fuzzy feeling. It is a decision. Have you ever heard this command and wondered, “Well, what if I just don’t feel love for God with all my heart and my soul and my mind?” The reason we ask that question is that we are so used to thinking of love as a feeling, rather than as a decision. When Jesus gives us a commandment that we love God, he is showing us that we can make a decision to love God, and we don’t have to wait for a warm fuzzy feeling towards God in order to obey his command.
Earlier in the service, Jeanne read I Corinthians 13 to us. It’s often referred to as “the love chapter,” because it gives us a wonderful description of what it looks like to love. It says that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” This description is about how we act, not how we feel. You can act this way whether you feel like it or not. Let me say that again: You can act in a loving manner even if you don’t feel like it.
For Jesus, love is not an option. In John 13:34-35, Jesus said,
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
The way we treat one another is supposed to be the way others will recognize us as followers of Jesus.
Now, perhaps you might say this is too difficult. Of course it is difficult! But it is not impossible. That is why we have the gift of the Holy Spirit—to help us to grow in becoming Christ-like; to help us grow in love. The Holy Spirit does not move in and control our actions and our emotions, but the Holy Spirit does enable us to do that which we have decided in our hearts to do.
There is no question that loving is difficult. In fact, not only are we called to love our close friends and relatives, but to love all people. In the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, this is what Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”(Matthew 5:43-48)
If we are truly serious about following Jesus—being Christians—then we must understand that we are being called to a much higher standard of behavior.
The opposite of love is hate, and there is no room for hate in the heart of a Christian. God is our creator. He created all people and he loves them all. God does not intend for us to love some people and hate others. He certainly does not intend for us to love or hate people because of the color of their skin or because of their national origin.
If you think about it for just a minute, you will realize just how absurd racial and ethnic prejudice is. Who of us had anything to do with what color our skin would be or where we were born? Did any of you choose what color your eyes and hair and skin would be before you were born? Did any of you choose what country you would be born in? Did any of you choose your family? It makes no sense to hate a person for something they had absolutely no control over! Racial prejudice is a learned hatred. All of us have some prejudices. If we recognize that we have learned to hate people who have different skin tones or different ethnic origins, we can make a decision to change our thinking.
Is this an easy thing to do? Of course not. Some of the things we hold dearly make little or no sense. Usually, we don’t even understand our own prejudices. Part of growing up is the process of looking at what we have learned as a child and making a rational choice as to whether or not the things we were taught are valid. This sifting process continues throughout life.
For example, if you are a Republican, there is a pretty good chance your parents were Republicans. I am not suggesting this is either good or bad—but at some point in your life, you need to decide for yourself where you stand on political issues. Not only that, political parties evolve over time, and what the Republican Party stood for many years ago may not be the same thing it stands for today. And that may or may not be a good thing.
The same is true for our religious beliefs. Many of us believe as our parents believed. Most parents who have religious beliefs hope their children will grow up believing the same as they do. This is not a bad thing. But there are times in life when each person needs to examine—and to reexamine—what he or she has been taught and decide whether these things are true and good.
Much of our thinking is the result of outside influences. Some of the influences on our lives have been good, and others have been not so good. As Christians, we need to take control of our lives and fill our minds with godly influences.
As you may know, I have concerns about myself or anyone else spending large amounts of time watching television. The reason is that when we are watching TV, most of us are very passive. We are not usually analyzing what we are watching—we are simply soaking it up. If you do stop and analyze what is on TV—both the programming and the ads—you will understand my concern. I am not saying everything we watch on TV is bad—I’m saying we need to be careful.
As Christians, we need to examine our own lives and see where we might have some blind spots. Wherever we discover that we have learned to hate rather than to love, we know there is a big blind spot that we need to deal with. This is not optional. The Bible is very clear in stating that God’s way is the way of love—not hate.
Hatred of any sort blinds us to the truth—both about ourselves and about others. I think one of the saddest kinds of hate is that found within families. I can’t tell you how many people I have talked to over the years who are not on speaking terms with a person or persons in their immediate family. There is absolutely no room for this kind of hateful behavior in any Christian’s life. If you are a person who has grown up in such a family, this is really difficult for you. But let me be very clear: hate in a family is not healthy; it is not normal, and it is not the way Christians are to be.
The Bible could not be more clear on this subject. I John 4:19-21 says, “We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, ‘I love God’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”
If you have learned to hate, you can unlearn it. Love is a decision. If there is a person in your life who you hate, make a decision to get rid of that hate and start loving that person. Can you do this on your own? Maybe. But it would be so much easier to let God take away your hatred and replace it with love.
If you have been holding something against another person, let me beg you to put it down. Do you understand how much energy it takes to hate? Do you understand that your hate gnaws away at your insides, and eventually it destroys you? Do you remember what we have learned to pray in The Lord’s Prayer? Forgive us our debts—our trespasses—our sins, as we forgive our debtors—those who trespass against us—those who sin against us.
It doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong; who is the sinner and who is the one sinned against. If you can’t forgive others, it’s pretty hard to receive God’s forgiveness.
If I may say so, most of us carry around a whole lot of crap that needs to go. We hang on to hurts and slights and yes, some big ugly things that never should have happened. And all that garbage that we insist on hanging onto just weighs us down and keeps us from experiencing God’s love to the fullest. I beg you in Jesus’ name; just let it all go. Bring all your garbage to Jesus and lay it down at the foot of the cross. That’s why Jesus died. He died so that you could be free from all the hurts; all the hatred. Jesus doesn’t save you and then tell you to keep carrying your load—he wants you to just lay it down and let him get rid of it.
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28,29)
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, with Isaiah I would say, “Woe is me! I am ruined! For I am a person of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” When I look upon your holiness, I am grieved by my own sin and the sin of those around me.
With David I would say, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Jesus, we confess that we have stones of hatred in our hearts where there ought to be love. Help us to let go of those bitter stones of hatred that weigh us down. Free us from the cancerous destruction of hatred that destroys us from within.
Thank you for your great love for us and for all people. Now, Lord, we come to you and ask you to forgive us and fill our hearts with your love. Amen
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