“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”  That’s truly an amazing list, isn’t it?  Today, we come to the last one on the list, self-control.

          I’m going to explain why self-control is a summary of the entire list, and is truly the key to all of them.  But in order to understand it that way, we need to think about self-control in a little different way than we usually do.

          Most of us have had issues in our lives where we have had to exercise self-control.  I suppose there are some of you who have never needed to go on a diet.  But those of you who have know that self-control isn’t very easy.  I really hate dieting!  I wish I could eat whatever I want whenever I want.  All of us need to exercise self-control if we want to stay healthy, and that’s a good thing.  If you have a job, you certainly have to exercise self-control if you want to keep your job.  It’s just stuff we have to do to get along in the world.  Self-control is good.

          But there is another kind of self-control that I think comes closer to the meaning in this passage.  This self-control is control of the self.  It’s the ability, which I believe can only be God given, to keep the self from being in control, or in the center.  As we offer our self to God and give God control, God becomes the one who exercises self-control in our lives.

          That is quite different from the way we normally think of self-control.  We think of a self-controlled person as one who is able to eat correctly, exercise, get to bed on time, get up early, and so on.  This kind of self-control is all good.  But I don’t think this is the kind of self-control Paul is talking about here.  Because that self-controlled person who eats right, exercises, and so on, can still be completely self-centered and really very unpleasant to be around.  Not because they are in control of their life—that’s always a good thing—but because they are also self-centered.

          Certainly you have known someone who is very self-controlled in every way, but definitely not an example of those other characteristics we have been talking about, like love, joy, and peace.

          The self-control that Paul puts at the end of this long list of the fruit of the Spirit is that ability to so control the self that we are able to be other-centered rather than self-centered, and thus we are capable of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness.  To exercise every single one of those qualities, we need to have self under control.

          When I was a child, we sang a song that went something like this:  “Jesus and others and you, what a wonderful way to spell JOY…. “J” is for Jesus who must have first place, “O” is for others we meet face to face, “Y” is for you and whatever you do. Put yourself last and spell JOY.”

          Self-control involves getting your self out of first place.  And that’s really not so easy for any of us, is it? 

          All of us start out in this life completely and totally self-centered and self-absorbed.  That’s the way babies are, and it is completely natural and okay—for them.  Most of you have heard about our little grandson, Caleb, who is now eight months old.  Like all babies, he thinks he is the center of the universe.  Of course, his parents and his grandparents tend to agree. 

          One of his funny little tricks is that if any of us should have the audacity to talk to each other and leave him out of the conversation, he starts making these loud complaining noises.  Then, when we pay attention to him, he laughs, almost as if to say he knows he’s being just a bit unreasonable.

          At his age, being self-centered is cute.  What’s not so cute is when people grow up and they still think they are the center of the universe. 

          Many of you have read the best seller, The Purpose Driven Life, by Pastor Rick Warren.  The first sentence in that book is absolutely startling.  It says this:  “It’s not about you.”

          I don’t know if that struck you as hard as it did me, but I still remember reading that sentence and saying to myself, “What do you mean, it’s not about me?”  I mean, really, if it’s not about me then why am I reading this book?

          Do you have any idea how amazing it is that a book that starts out saying “It’s not about you” could be a best seller?  How crazy is that?

          Warren goes on to say this:  “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.  It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions.  If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God.  You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.” (Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life, p. 17)

          By the way, if you haven’t read it, The Purpose Driven Life  is available in our church library, and I encourage you to go right back there after the service and check it out.  Warren has a lot of really good pastoral teaching.

          Back to that first sentence in his book, “It’s not about you.”  I have to be honest and tell you that this still challenges me.  Doesn’t the whole world conspire to tell me that it is, indeed, about me?  Warren says it’s not about my personal fulfillment, my peace of mind, or even my happiness.  It’s not about my family, my career, or my dreams and ambitions.  What else is there? 

          Oh yes. God.  Warren says I was born by God’s purpose and for God’s purpose.

          Okay, I’m your pastor and I know Rick Warren is right.  But I still find that every time I read this, it jars me.  Even though I have known this since I was a child singing “Jesus and others and you….put yourself last and spell JOY,” it just isn’t easy.

          I remember many times seeing a picture of a heart with a chair in the middle of it.  It was supposed to represent the throne of your heart, and the idea was that you need to get yourself off that throne, because that’s where Jesus belongs.  God needs to be on the throne in your life.

          But what happens to us—well me at least—maybe you’re all better at this—What happens to me is that I have this self—this ego—that keeps sneaking into the throne room and plopping down on the throne and acting as if that’s her chair.

          In our scripture for today, Jesus talks about this very problem. I’m reading Mark 8:34-37 from Today’s New International Version (TNIV).

³⁴ Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. ³⁶ What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? ³⁷ Or what can you give in exchange for your soul?

          Let me also read that same passage as it is translated in the New Living Translation (NLT).

³⁴Then he called his disciples and the crowds to come over and listen. "If any of you wants to be my follower," he told them, "you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. ³⁵If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will find true life. ³⁶And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? ³⁷Is anything worth more than your soul?

          Jesus presents us with the foundational paradox of life.  That which we grab onto and try to keep for ourselves will eventually destroy us.  The only way to be free is to give up our insistence that we must be free.  The only way to save our own life is to give it up.

          True discipleship calls us to put aside our self and follow Jesus.  Your soul is your self.  And the only way to preserve your soul—to save your soul—is to surrender it to God.

          It would be downright terrifying to surrender your life to God if it weren’t that God is God.  God is absolutely trustworthy, and he wants the best for you.  Now, that may not mean he wants to shower you with wealth or abilities or even health.  Because God has an even higher best for you, and that is the care of your soul.

          When we totally surrender our lives to God and fully follow him in whatever he calls us to do, we do indeed find incredible fulfillment.  That’s been my personal experience, and I know that many of you have also experienced this.  But as I said before, I still have that awful tendency to sneak my self back onto the throne of my heart and sit in the place where Jesus needs to be. 

          That’s why I need repentance.  And so do you.  We all need to regularly come before the throne of grace and beg for God’s mercy and forgiveness.  We need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us get our selves off the throne and put Jesus back on the throne of our life.  That’s the kind of self-control that only the Holy Spirit can do in our lives.  Because try as we might, we really can’t conquer our own self-centeredness.  Most of us can do it for a while, but eventually self preservation takes over, and we’re right back on the throne of our own lives.

          When we allow the Holy Spirit to do the work of self-control in our lives, those other characteristics of the Spirit can flourish in us, too.  As we focus outward, rather than on ourselves, we can begin to experience love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and gentleness.  All of those qualities require that we get over our selves and be other directed.  You can’t have those qualities in their purest form without getting off that throne.  As long as you are looking out for number one, you won’t experience true love, true joy, and so on.

          When we come to partake in the Lord’s Supper, it is appropriate that we take some time to reflect on our lives.  Jesus is present here with us.  It is a fitting time to invite him to come back into that central place in our lives—to put him back on the throne of our lives.  Or if we have never done so, to invite him to come into our lives.

          He is the only one who can save us from our selves.  Let me read the words Jesus spoke in our scripture one more time as we reflect on what Jesus is calling us to do.  "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. ³⁵ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. ³⁶ What good is it for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? ³⁷ Or what can you give in exchange for your soul?”

Prayer

Lord, we confess that we are self-centered.  It’s not easy for us to deny our selves.  We want to follow you, but we want to hold back that place on the throne for ourselves.  Yet you teach us that as we cling to our life, we will lose it.  Help us to invite you to sit on the throne of our hearts.  Help us to simply trust you with our lives.  Remind us that nothing in this life compares to you.  You alone are God.  We ask, Lord, that as we give you first place in our lives, you would give us the gift of true self-control.      Amen